Licensed Psychologist and Minnesota Mediator
HomeMediationParenting Consultant
Parenting Consultation AgreementParenting Consultants and Parenting Time Expeditors
Parenting PlanTherapyDivorce CoachParenting and Psychological AssessmentsHelpful ArticlesCurriculum VitaeLocationContact Information

Parenting Consultant

A Parental Consultant is a Psychologist with extensive background and skill in child development, who is able to be a non-judgmental teacher. This person is a resource to an entire family when the parents are going through a divorce, or are having post-divorce parenting problems. This professional can help parents to look at what is in the child’s best interest. Although this person is connected to the family, they are also removed enough not to take sides. The goal is to help model a family structure so that both homes are a safe and functional place for the children to experience the least amount of trauma. A Parental Consultant is a #114 Neutral and works in the child’s best interest’s.

In some cases, the Psychologist may be used to provide support, and in other instances that person may give direct suggestions or resource material. A Parenting Consultant (PC) may provide a variety of services such as helping parents understand appropriate developmental range of behaviors, places to take a child based on age and emotional needs, to what clothing is appropriate, and how to bring closure to a visit without tears or anger. Very often parents need to intellectually understand why talking positively about the other parent is developmentally in that child’s best interest. How is a child hurt that is in the middle of a fight between two people that he/she loves? Many parents do not understand the concept of a child being "attached’ to each of them and how that affects self-esteem later in life.

Another teaching role of the Parenting Consultant is to help each parent understand that the reality of their ex-partners beliefs and behaviors may not change, but that they can learn and grow as a parent. If I am the teacher, then it is easier for people to "let go",and allow the other person, if they are willing, to move on with their own life. The advantages of this concept to children are endless, as they are able to go about the task of growing up in their childhood, not controlling the relationship between their parents, nor needing to feel disloyal. Upsetting phone calls would go to the Parenting Consultant, who makes an appointment with the parents and has the responsibility to teach a process in order to settle the problem, and devise a plan to help the parents negotiate an agreement.

When I work with a family, we begin by filling out a Parenting Plan that covers just about every circumstance that could arise in the parenting life of their children. It takes 2, two hour sessions to complete the contract, and then they have a filled-out document from which to refer if and when there are future problems.

The Parenting Consultant should posses a number of specific skills such as:

  • Having a strong commitment to helping families, and being part of that family’s welfare
  • Being able to communicate well and demonstrate patience, particularly under stress
  • Having an extensive knowledge of child development
  • Being willing and able to go wherever the parents and children are located if a home visit is appropriate and necessary
  • Being willing to handle and promptly return phone calls on a consistent basis
  • Being able to teach skills to adults who are in crisis
  • Being able to elicit trust and behave in a non-judgmental manner toward all involved, no matter how one feels about that individual’s beliefs
  • Having a variety of resources at hand, as well setting up boundaries and meeting
  • Being available to handle problems in the present and future

 

PROBLEM:

Imagine this typical situation where the parents are separated or divorced, and one parent brings their 7-year-old home late on a Sunday night, not having eaten dinner. This child began to have a sore throat over the weekend, but nothing was done or communicated to the other parent who has the child for the school week. The receiving parent becomes mad and accuses that parent of being the same irresponsible, non-caring person that they were during the marriage. The child is crying as he/she hears the fight between their parents that is so familiar.

TOWARD A SOLUTION:

In their Parenting Plan, the Parenting Consultant would have already developed a checklist with the parents about situations where and when each one must be notified (sickness, appointments, school meetings), and a process for bringing the child back to each other’s home. In an office visit or coaching, the Parenting Consultant can provide education about the positives and negatives of each choice they have opted for in the past, and help them understand the developmental impact on their child, both short and long term. The parent could make a list of foods that are quick and easy in case there is limited time to have dinner. Each parent could specify what they would like to see happen for that hour or two before their child is returned. A communicating session would help to develop separateness in their own lives, while decreasing the possibility of continuing disagreements from their marriage. In this way, they would be practicing healthy parenting in the present and the future.

COST:

The job of the Parenting Consultant is a strong commitment with much time involvement. Many of the tasks involve direct work with parents, contact with the children, consulting with other professionals, and writing the Parenting Plan document itself. The cost of this service is $200.00 per hour. I ask that each parent make the commitment to pay $100.00 for half of the parenting consultation session or whatever financial decision they have agreed upon.

PSYCHOLOGIST:

A psychologist brings special competencies, such as:

  • evaluating the need for outside therapy, treatment, and psychiatric referrals
  • being able to make appropriate referrals for counseling, psychological and chemical dependency evaluations.
  • assessing and handling mental health emergencies
  • helping families to understand in a developmental and psychological model, the process they will go through in order to develop healthy but separate homes
  • A great depth of understanding and experience in helping people make concrete and positive changes in their lives

Choose a seasoned and dedicated Parenting Consultant, ready to meet and exceed all your needs.Minnesota Parenting Consultant Terri Romanoff-Newman Ph.D., L.P. is a trained and licensed psychologist, with the skills to guide you through this stressful time. Contact her if you are in the area of Minneapolis, Edina, Eden Prairie, Minnetonka, Apple Valley, or St. Paul and are seeking parenting consultation.